How Family Court Or Child Custody Arrangements Effect Your Family
This is a very tough subject to talk about. But it is never told how it really effects family life. You always get told what to do or not to do. Never really getting down to the dirt of the subject. These points of view is told by me and no one else. My family has been dealing with family court for 10 years now.
Every day is a battle just keeping up with all. I am not a lawyer or a judge. Just a person that has been through it. Telling my story to see if it can help out people going through the same thing.
First of let me tell you a little about my self so you know where I am coming from. I am a dad of two great daughters. One is 6 and the other is 10.
The mom of my 6 year old we are married doing great. The mother of my 10 year we split up when my daughter was born. I have had custody of her since she was born.
I have been in and out of family court like 6 times now through out the years. Because my ex keeps bring me back into court trying to get rights back for her daughter.
The first time I went to family court. It took a year and a half just to get that one over.
How Family court Effects Your Kids
While I get to see this in two points of view. One form my oldest daughter and the other from my youngest daughter. It effects them differently. Let me tell you about my oldest daughter first. I actual raised my oldest three years by myself. We were always together. Even when she was small she had a lot of problems getting used to life to the way it was. Many of nights I had to hold her when she cried wondering why she didn’t have a mom. Or why her mom wasn’t there for her.
She knew that our family was different from everyone else. Kids are smart at any age they figure stuff out really quickly. I have had many questions about. Why her mom was not their? Even when she was young.
The Thing about when she was growing up I could actual see how it was effecting the whole time. It never goes away. You can tell it in their school work. Or everyday normal life. They are always walking around with a big weight on their shoulders.
Around 6 or 7 I start to see her start to change her mind on how she actually treat her real mom. She was starting to realize her mom only wanted to see her when it was convenient for her. My daughter started telling me why should I care to talk to my mom she don\’t care to talk to me most of the time.
It is almost like a hate is growing inside of her and it only keeps getting bigger. The more her mom lets her down. The more hate grows. It is like a ticking time bomb. I have tried to help her in the subject by talking to her about it. Also I got counselor to talk to her too. But no one really could touch that wall that was building. It keeps growing and growing.
She gets so confused at times because she gets told some many things or hears them too. She don\’t know what to make out of it all. I mean she gets told one thing by me and get told another by her really mom. So it leads into a huge mess for her.
How It Effects My Youngest Daughter
My youngest daughter is six so she really don’t have a Good grip on it all yet. She is always asking my wife and I why sissy has to go visit her mom? Why she has a different mom?
She also gets the blunt end of the stick sometimes. My ex has a big problem telling my oldest that her sister isn’t her real sister. My oldest has actually told my youngest this a lot.
It always makes my youngest goes nuts and crying and wondering what her sister is talking about. I have to sit them both down and explain that they are sister and family is not a bound you can break.
If you find some one new how it effects them
This is never winning battle for these people. They get hurt from all side of the family. They try so hard to be in your kids life. Trying to be everything for your kids. But they know that they will never really be accepted. The kids are always saying or doing stuff that hurts their feelings.
The kids don\’t mean to do it. They really just don\’t realize that they do it. It is a battle they can\’t win being a parent to a step child. They also got to be worried on how the can handle stuff if the kid does something wrong. If they have to discipline the kids and how. They have to worry if they do discipline the kid is to hard.
Also the battle between your ex and someone new is crazy . It never stops they are always going to be trying to make the other one mad. Mostly the ex does it but in occasions it happens the other way too.
How It Effects You
You become a glue that holds everything together. Every day you have to deal with your family going through it all and every day you have to pick up the pieces. I DO MEAN EVERYDAY!!!!!
From the time you wake up until the time you go to bed. You are the roots that hold your family together. You have to be nice to the person you probably hate the most every day. Your EX!!!
Because you have to for your kids. It is the best for your kids that your ex and you get along. Some people can handle their ex and some people stay friends with their ex. Good luck with that!!!!
It took me a long time to play nice with the ex. But you have to it is the best for your kids. The quicker you realize that the better off it is for your kids.
About the Author
First, let tell you a little about my self. I am the father of 2 great daughters one is 6 and the oldest one is 10. My daughter that is 6 her mom we are married and doing great. But my other daughter that is 10 her mom and I split up when my daughter was born. I was lucky enough to get full custody of her since she was born. I have spent the last ten years of my life fighting to keep it that way. Either going in and out of family court or dealing with how all this mess affects my daughter. Don\’t get me wrong it is well worth it. But the reason I have built this site is to give tips that I have learned through out this whole process. That I wished I knew back then It would have helped me out a whole lot. Just remember this the battle of child custody arrangements is a battle you have to deal with the whole time your kid is growing up.